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Mel Gibson Confesses "Alcoholics Anonymous saved my marriage."
NEW IDEA
September 16, 1995
Story by Gabrielle Donnelly and Keith Ryan
Photo by Firooz Zahedi
Title:
Mel Gibson Confesses "Alcoholics Anonymous saved my marriage."
Mel told to choose: "Our marriage or
the bottle"
Adoring female fans proposition him wherever he goes, he has worked with some of Hollywood's most
desirable leading ladies and he has been dubbed the sexiest man alive. But Mel Gibson could so easily have been washed up.
. . had it not been for the woman in his life.
For the first time, Robyn, his self-effacing wife of 15 years, has
spoken out about the drinking binges that almost ruined the Australian star and how he turned his life around after she gave
him an ultimatum.
It was Robyn, 39, who helped Mel beat his battle with the booze which threatened to sink his career.
The star first stopped drinking in 1987 because it was beginning to take control of his life.
But he began
drinking again - until finally his wife stepped in.
In one of her rare public comments Robyn, who first met the
handsome actor in Adelaide in 1974, says: "I told Mel he had a real weakness - one that could end our marriage as well
as smash his career.
"I said: 'Go to Alcoholics Anonymous". Much to his credit, he did.
"I
always had faith in him - from the start, Mel had the cockiness and good looks to make it."
Throughout 39-year-old
Mel's association with AA, Robyn was always supportive, traveling to film locations with their six children, so he always
had his family nearby. It was Robyn who secretly arranged for her famous husband to attend meeting wherever they went.
No word of it ever leaked out and there were no more drunken sprees.
"Whenever I'm tempted to go back to
drinking, I know I can turn to Robyn,"
the star says. "One look at her and I know that drinking isn't worth
it.
"My work is fun and the money I make is insane, but it means nothing without Robyn."
Influence
on Decisions
There is no doubting that the heart-throb not only dotes on his wife, but that she has plenty of say
over their decisions. When stardom struck, it is claimed Robyn insisted on buying a 200ha property in Victoria as a place
for her husband to retain his sanity. Mel will neither confirm nor deny it.
"She doesn't appreciate me talking
about her," he says tellingly. But he will reveal: "My father told me never to marry a dumb woman. Robyn is smart.
"She's there to keep me sane, to remind me that my real priorities are my wife and kids. I'm not a heart-throb
to Robyn.
"She doesn't have my poster on the wall. She tells me, 'Do the dishes. Feed the kids.' All the normal
stuff."
Mel is determined their children will not end up stereotypical Hollywood kids, "too sophisticated
for their years, riding around in expensive cars and looking at life through jaded eyes."
"I take my whole
family with me when I go on location. There's no better education than travel. They're exposed to another language, to different
foods, there's a currency exchange they have to observe and try to figure out. And there are all sorts of neat cultural things
- like when one of my kids was six, he could recognise a painting by Monet!
"Let's face it, all you really learn
in school is how to read and write and add up. Kids can learn that anywhere."
Mel says he is strict but does
not administer hard punishment unless it is necessary. "It's often better to make your point with a little smack, than
by saying something cruel that will stay with them for life," he says. "The pain from a smack subsides. But a scarred
mind is more difficult to deal with."
When his son William told his father that he would like to be an actor,
Mel' s reply was" "Why?"
"I mean, that's a tough question to ask a little boy. He just stared
at me and said: 'So I can take your place when you die!' God, I nearly cried."
He adds: "I have no complaints
about them, although they might have some about me, but they're just too scared to mention them. Just kidding."
In fifteen years of marriage Mel has never been linked with another woman.
His explanation is simple: "The
key for Robyn and me is that we want to stay together for the rest of our lives.
"So whenever there is a crisis
in our marriage, we have faith that we can work things out. Most people don't have the right sense of compromise or willingness
to forgive each other, so they throw in the towel in a
relationship too easily.
"Marriage is hard work.
My big weakness is I'm excessive. Control is important to me.
"But my mother told me once: 'Be kind to her,
just be kind.' There are times when I'm not sure I am, but whenever I do decided to follow this advice, it works wonderfully
well."
And now Mel will be able to impart his own advice in an incredible forum: the Vatican. Pope John Paul
II has invited the Catholic star to address next month's Vatican council - apparently the first layman ever given such an
honor.
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